Revision Piece - Introduction

I chose this timed writing assignment as my “Revision and Reseeing” piece because I was not happy with it when I completed it and it has gnawed at me ever since. The original assignment was “Using the discussion and your viewing notes, develop a thesis-driven essay of 3-5 paragraphs that demonstrates HOW the film defines what it is to be an outsider (avoiding unnecessary plot summary). In the second part of your essay, discuss how the film challenged or affirmed your own perceptions of what it is to be an insider or outsider”.

As I said before, this was a timed write; we were given 60 minutes to complete it. It did not come as a surprise to me; I do not do well under time constraints! When I hit the “submit” button, I knew it was not up to par. It took me about 20 minutes just to come up with what I thought was a thesis, only to find that the Professor grading it found my thesis in the second paragraph (funny, I put MY thesis in the first paragraph!) And when all was said and done, all I’d really done was to summarize the movie, not analyze it, and I completely forgot to discuss how the film challenged or affirmed my own perceptions.

So here is my revised piece. I have moved the thesis to the first paragraph and added some analysis. In the second half I have discussed how the film challenged or affirmed my own perceptions of what it is to be an insider or outsider. I feel that this revised piece better represents my abilities.